I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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