Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
A+ Viking dick
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
