It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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