i barfeds in our rink
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize