Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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