Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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