your parents love me but you hate me
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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