His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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