She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
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he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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