Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You need Xanax blowdarts
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
