Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got inside last night via doggy door
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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