your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize