Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize