Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
