I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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