Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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