his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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