this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
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She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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