I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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