you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
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Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
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They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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