am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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