dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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