What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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