I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Randomize