I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize