He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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