I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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