Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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