apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
only if we run a train.
done.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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