Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
