Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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