Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.