I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
