hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror