I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
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well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's never too late to be topless.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
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I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.