I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour