I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize