i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
