what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
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Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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