...so i touched it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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