there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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