What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
