btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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