It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four minutes until I can fart!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize