Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
