You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
