Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I look better un-naked...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize