He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
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I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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