they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
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i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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