The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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