I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize