drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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