btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
