i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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